I have recently been watching replays of Modern Family season 1 and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that i am enjoying it! When it won an Emmy for Best Comedy, I thought, maybe I should give it a chance. And what a treat it has been.
There are a lot of memorable scenes and subplots but one that stuck with me was that of a squabble between husband and wife, Jake and Gloria.
It was the time when Gloria admitted that she is actually a very good chess player but has only been letting his husband win because he is a sore loser. Jake of course denies it and challenges her to a face off – which Gloria accepted.
So they played.
Midway through the game and amidst gloating and angry words, Jake suddenly says, “Are we really doing this?! Are we really letting this stupid game come between us?”
To which Gloria responded by messing the chessboard and hugging her husband.
BUT this is not why I liked the story.
The TV series follows the same format as the equally entertaining TV series, The Office where the characters occasionally face the camera as if being interviewed. This is when they are able to say exactly what is going on inside their heads.
So in front of the camera Jake says, “Two moves. Two moves and she would have finished me. I had to find a way to stop it before she notices how close she is to winning. Good thing she didn’t see it.”
In front of the camera Gloria says, “Two moves, two moves and I would have won.” She closes her scene by saying, “I am a good chess player, but I am a better wife.”
What does that mean? Does that mean I pretend to be the weaker partner, submitting to my husband and letting him always be the one who prevails? Does that mean I hide my strengths, keep my thoughts and my opinions to myself? Does that mean I lift up my husband at my expense? Does that mean I always let him feel as he is better and allow him to take the limelight?
No it does not. It means that it doesn’t really matter who wins. It means that even when you know that you have proven yourself right, you don’t gloat. It means that when he concedes to your suggestion but then later on realize that his suggestion was the right one, he doesn’t glower angrily. It also means that you don’t nag when you are proven right. It means it truly doesn’t matter who is better. It means it doesn’t matter who was right.
Between a highly confident, articulate man and his opinionated (and equally articulate – wink wink) wife, you can expect differences in opinion. And I am not talking about the major, life changing opinions. I am talking about the little things – UFC Tamis Anghang Ketchup or Del Monte Ketchup? Surf or Joy dishwashing liquid? Do we park here or there? Do we attend this or do we go there? Is it faster via Paseo de Roxas or Makati Avenue? Each day has an opportunity to make compromises and/or arguments. So far, thankfully, we haven’t had a major argument.
We have only been married one year so perhaps the major squabbles would come a few years from now. Or maybe it won’t. So I am writing this and remember Gloria’s willingness to let it go. And let it be.
Because it doesn’t really matter who was right.
